Why Did The Angel Turn Into A Devil?
Little Cathy Carlson — 6 years old, full of life, and the charmer of the family. She was her dad’s little darling and her mom’s princess. She meant the world to her two brothers. Residing in a small town in Massachusetts — Concord, she belonged to a lower-middle-class family. Her father was the sole bread-earner and would do anything to keep his little family happy.
She was considered the sweetest thing to have ever happened to the Carlson family. Little did they know what life had in store for her.
When Cathy was 7, in the fall her parents had to attend a wedding in Washington. They couldn’t take her along because of school, so they left her and her brothers at their relatives’ place. She was unhappy that they were leaving without her, but was excited to stay with her cousins.
The Turnaround
One night, her eldest brother Caleb went out to party with the cousins. They returned pretty late. Cathy and her younger brother Charles were already asleep. They tried to be quiet so as not to wake up the kids. But, something woke Cathy up — what was it?
No, it wasn’t the noise her brothers made. It wasn’t the opening and closing of the door either. It wasn’t the clanking of the windows. Then what was it?
It was a HAND! A hand ‘inside’ her. Before little Cathy could comprehend what was going on, she felt the hand move in and out of her. She didn’t know what to do, she just felt dirty! In the darkness of the night, she wasn’t sure who it was. She kept quiet.
It did not stop there. Cathy felt a kiss on her lips and her arm. He also put Cathy’s little hand on his penis. She felt like screaming, but was so traumatized that she couldn’t!
Next Morning…
Cathy woke up in the morning with such excruciating pain ‘down there’ and a cut on her lower lip. She tried to talk to her aunt about this, but she was ‘too busy’ to listen to Cathy. All Cathy found out was that it was her eldest cousin Adam who did that to her. Her parents returned that same night and they came back to their place. Cathy tried several times to talk to her mom about what happened. She was too scared and chickened out every time.
The 7-year old had no clue about how to approach anyone about the whole situation, so she tried to kill herself.
Neurobiology Explains
In a study conducted in the United States on a random sample of 1225 female members, 18.4% have been reported to be sexually abused as kids. The tendency for such traumatized children to harm themselves even in their adolescence is 15 times greater than the non-abused kids. History of depression, anxiety, oppositional disorder, ADHD, and not being comfortable around people have been observed in such females.
Similar to Cathy, many such girls have tried to kill themselves. These girls often have a hard time dealing with people in general.
What Happened to Cathy?
Cathy was not successful in ending her life. Although, she tried many times even as a teenager and as a grown-up as well. The worst part that hit her like an iceberg was that she had to see Adam regularly and she couldn’t do anything. She grew up, but her life’s a complete mess. She has many friends but she still struggles to communicate with and face the world every day.
For a very long time, she kept blaming her parents and her entire family for what happened. But, she could find it in herself to forgive her parents. However, she still loathes her family and blames them — all of them, for her ruined childhood and the mess that she is in today.
Once the heart of her family-the cheerful and loving little girl, now turned into an emotionless individual who keeps pushing people away to protect herself.
What can we do?
To begin with, we need to stop trusting people in the name of ‘family’. There are millions of people across the globe who take advantage of being your family or friend. Before you know it, they ruin your kids’ childhood as well as their life. The trauma never leaves, no matter how many ‘wonderful’ therapists you visit.
Cathy might have been unable to kill herself but she did not grow up to be a confident adult. She still feels people are out there to get her and they are going to do that to her again! She fights battles with her mind every single day of her life. Her very own mind is her worst enemy — an enemy she has been trying to conquer for a very long time.
We cannot always protect our children from the difficulties of life, but we can listen to them when they come to us, we can be there for them, we can teach them how to deal with challenges.
Whenever you see your child is behaving differently, instead of assuming things or blaming it as a part of ‘growing up’, try talking to them. You may be able to find out the real reason and protect your child from growing up to be an adult with low self-esteem.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
